What to Do When You’re Not Getting the Playing Time You Want

At some point in your soccer career, you are probably going to find yourself in a role you don't want. Maybe you're coming off the bench when you thought you would be starting. Maybe you're only getting 15 minutes when you feel ready for more. Maybe you're barely getting on the field at all.

It's disappointing. You're allowed to be frustrated by it. You work hard, you care about soccer, and of course you want to play. But finding yourself in this situation doesn't mean you're failing, and it doesn't mean you're not a good player. Almost every player who reaches a high level has gone through a period where they had to earn their minutes.

What matters is what you do while you're in it.

Feel the Disappointment Without Becoming a Different Teammate

One of the easiest things to do when you're not playing is start looking for someone to blame. The coach doesn't like me. That player shouldn't be starting over me. My teammates aren't giving me the ball. If I just got a chance, I'd prove it.

Before long, that frustration starts showing up everywhere. Your body language changes. You complain about the coach. You talk badly about teammates. Your effort drops. Everyone around you can feel that you're pissed off, and suddenly you're not only dealing with a playing-time problem—you're becoming a teammate people don't want to be around.

You can be disappointed and still be a great teammate. Those two things can exist at the same time. In fact, we believe situations like this are where being a good teammate is actually determined. It's easy to bring energy, encourage people, and have great body language when everything is going your way. Who are you when it isn't?

Keep competing. Keep bringing energy. Encourage the players who are on the field. Train hard. Be someone your teammates want around them. Your circumstances can change without your standards changing with them.

Control What You Can Control

You don't choose the starting lineup. You don't decide when you're subbed into the game. You can't control how your coach sees every situation, and you certainly can't control how your teammates perform.

You can control how you train. You can control your attitude. You can control whether you're prepared. You can control how you respond to feedback. You can control the work you do outside of team training. You can control whether you make the team better in the role you've currently been given.

This doesn't mean pretending you're happy about not playing. It means taking responsibility for the parts of the situation that belong to you and learning to stick it out through the parts that don't.

Tyler and I both experienced this when we got to college. We had been successful players, and suddenly we were in an environment where we had to earn minutes all over again. We had a choice to make. We could spend our energy being frustrated about the role we had, or we could use that energy to become better players and earn more.

Throughout your career, you're going to have to make that same choice.

Change the Question You Ask Your Coach

If you aren't getting the minutes you want, we absolutely believe you should talk to your coach. But the way you approach that conversation matters.

Instead of asking, "How do I get more minutes?" try asking, "How can I contribute more?" or "What can I improve to gain more of your trust?"

Those questions come from a completely different place. You're not asking your coach to justify their decision or convince them that you deserve to play. You're asking for information that can help you get better.

Then listen. Don't immediately defend yourself or explain why you disagree. Your coach may tell you something that's difficult to hear. They might identify a weakness you didn't realize was holding you back. They might need something completely different from you than you expected. Give yourself the chance to understand what they're seeing.

And this conversation needs to come from you, not your parents. Learning how to communicate with coaches, ask for feedback, and advocate for yourself is part of becoming a more mature player. Your parents shouldn't be going to your coach to ask why you aren't playing.

Feedback Doesn't Matter Unless You Apply It

Asking your coach what you need to improve is only useful if you actually do something with the answer.

If your coach tells you that you need to become better defensively, what specifically needs to improve? If they want you to play faster, how can you train that? If they don't trust you in a certain part of the game yet, what reps can you get consistently to start changing that?

Turn the feedback into a plan.

This is also where having someone in your corner can be incredibly valuable. Bring that feedback to a mentor who understands your game and can help you figure out how to work on it. Instead of leaving the conversation thinking, My coach says I need to get better at this, you should leave knowing exactly what you're going to do about it.

You may not be able to control when your coach changes your role. You can control whether you're becoming a better player while you wait.

Prepare Like You're Going to Play 90 Minutes

If you're on the bench, don't mentally remove yourself from the game. Treat game day like you're going to play 90 minutes.

Prepare the same way. Pay attention to what's happening on the field. Watch the player in your position. Stay engaged with the game. Encourage your teammates and bring energy from the sideline. Be a cheerleader for the people who are currently playing, even when you desperately wish you were out there with them.

At the same time, be ready.

Soccer changes quickly. Someone gets injured. A player gets tired. The game needs something different. Your coach looks down the bench and suddenly your name is called. You don't always get to decide when your opportunity comes, but you do get to decide what version of yourself is waiting when it does.

If you've spent three weeks sulking, training poorly, and checking out because you weren't playing, you probably won't be prepared when that opportunity arrives. If you've continued competing, improving, listening, and preparing as though you could be needed at any moment, you're giving yourself a chance to take advantage of it.

There Is Something to Learn Here

Not getting the playing time you want can feel like a huge deal when you're in the middle of it. But finding yourself in this position is okay. It happens to players at every level, and there can be a lot of growth on the other side of it.

You learn how to compete when there isn't an immediate reward. You learn how to be a good teammate when you're disappointed. You learn how to communicate with coaches. You learn to receive feedback and turn it into action. You learn how to control what you can control and keep showing up through the things you can't.

Those lessons are bigger than one starting lineup.

So if you're not getting the minutes you want right now, feel the disappointment. Then get back to work. Ask for feedback. Make a plan. Support your teammates. Prepare like your opportunity could come tomorrow.

Because eventually, it might.