Win or learn: Jim Gabarra’s Lessons on Grit, Growth, and Great Teams
Lets give a warm welcome to Father Gabarra! We are so excited to hear his wisdom and stories.
In tough times in my career, questions about my future, days i’m lacking confidence in my path as a player, the first person I always call is my Dad. As a player and coach who has been through countless setbacks, he is reasonable and supportive, but is never shy to tell me if i’m being ridiculous (don’t worry i dish it right back to him😉). He has been in positions all across the game, coaching alongside impactful coaches, leading some incredibly high level players, and learning to stay determined and unshakable through adversity.
Background:
Jim Gabarra is one of American soccer’s most respected coaches, with a track record of building winning programs at the professional level. After a decorated playing career with the U.S. National Team—including 14 caps, an Olympic appearance, and captaining the U.S. Futsal team to FIFA bronze (1989) and silver (1992)—he transitioned seamlessly into coaching. Gabarra led Washington Freedom to the 2003 WUSA Championship and 2007 W-League title, established Sky Blue FC as an immediate NWSL playoff contender, and later guided Washington Spirit to its first playoff victory and a berth in the NWSL Championship final. He is currently the general manager for the Annapolis Blues, where he’s driving the club’s growth by building a competitive roster, strengthening community ties, and laying the foundation for long-term success on and off the field. Known for developing elite talent and elevating teams to new heights, his career reflects both longevity and lasting impact on the professional game.
Lets hear what he’s got to say…
1. You’ve built championship teams across multiple leagues and eras. What core beliefs or philosophies have you seen in the most successful players?
JG: The most successful players I’ve played with, coached, or managed have all shared one thing: a team-first, winning mentality. It’s an intangible — something I believe can be learned but not taught.
JG: In my rookie season with the Detroit Express, we had 16 on the roster (two were player-coaches). Every single one of them embraced their role, understanding that doing so would lead to team success. In Louisville, I had the rare experience of winning a championship as a player-coach — and that only happened because the players and staff selflessly rallied around the team’s goals.
My time with the San Diego Sockers gave me complete confidence in what a championship culture feels like, playing alongside legends like Brian Quinn, Fernando Clavijo, Kevin Crow, Branko Segota, and Steve Zungul.
But the clearest example came in the women’s game — Mia Hamm, Abby Wambach, Steffi Jones, Lindsay Stoecker, Siri Mullinex, and Carrie Moore on our 2003 WUSA Championship team. True WINNERS. Every team I’ve coached, I’ve prioritized finding players with this mindset: growth-oriented, team-first, and unwaveringly confident.
2. You have coached some of the best players in the world. What are some habits, behaviors, and lifestyles choices that you see are consistent between these powerful players?
JG: They train like they play. They’re great teammates. They show up early, stay late, and constantly refine their craft. They take care of their bodies — diet, sleep, recovery — not because a coach tells them to, but because it’s part of who they are. Coaches and support staff can influence this, but with the best players, it’s self-driven.
3. You’ve been through numerous roles and clubs—what personal routines or mental frameworks help you adapt quickly and lead effectively in new environments?
JG: I’ve always believed in putting in the work — paying your dues. I never had a conscious checklist for “how to adapt”; I just led from the front with confidence, trusting the players and staff alongside me.
I’ve been coachable in every role, willing to learn from anyone regardless of their title. My approach is simple: accept your role, perform it to the best of your ability, and surround yourself with winners who are humble and hard-working. Then, give them the space to own their roles while holding them accountable.
4. What did failure teach you that success never could?
JG: Everything. I live by the saying: “You either win or you learn.”
One of the defining moments in my career came when I was cut — one of many times — by Pittsburgh Spirit head coach John Kowalski. I remember doing very well at the open tryout and feeling confident about advancing. But John sat me down and told me I was a very good amateur player, just not developed enough for him to offer me anything at that time.
Fast forward four years. After gaining experience in a lower-level professional league, a few of my Louisville teammates and I were invited to the first U.S. Indoor National Team event in Hungary — by none other than John Kowalski. That event became the foundation for the U.S. Futsal Team, which I would go on to captain for 10 years.
From there, I was recommended to the full national team, where coach Lothar Osiander selected me. I had the honor of representing the U.S. for three years, contributing to a critically important era for U.S. men’s soccer.
I’m incredibly proud of what we accomplished together:
U.S. Futsal Team – Silver and Bronze medals (the highest-ever finish for a U.S. men’s national team in a FIFA tournament)
1988 Olympics – Qualified
1990 World Cup – Qualified for the first time in 50 years
Looking back, I can’t imagine how different my life would have been if I had quit or taken John’s early evaluation personally.
5. In times of rejection or getting cut, what kinds of conversations did you have with yourself that aided your grit and resilience to keep going?
JG: It’s crushing when you’re traded or cut. You take it personally — we all do. But I saw it as an opportunity to be resilient and prove people wrong. I was probably cut as many times as I was signed or made a national team. The difference was, I never quit. I had an unwavering belief in myself. In the end, it was just one person’s opinion — not the definition of me as a player or a person.
6. How did you handle self-doubt during tough seasons of your coaching career?
JG: Every coach will face tough seasons. For me, it was about learning, adjusting, improving — and always looking ahead to the next day or match. Past championships gave me the foundation to stay grounded. I stuck to my core values, and no matter how bad things got, I kept moving forward with dignity and self-belief.
7. What’s one lesson you learned as a player that still influences how you live and lead today?
JG: Know and accept your role on the team — and be a great teammate.
8. Could you leave us with a book or podcast that you believe is essential for anyone striving to develop a strong and resilient mindset?
JG: "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D.
Jim’s journey is proof that setbacks can shape resilience, and that lasting impact comes from staying true to your values through every season. His wisdom reminds us that growth is rooted in persistence, humility, and belief — lessons that reach far beyond the game. Thank you Father Gabarra!
Talk to you guys next week,
Talia
