Not Getting Playing Time? Here are 5 Questions To Ask Yourself
Not getting playing time can feel like a setback—but it’s actually one of the greatest opportunities you’ll ever have as a player. When you’re not on the field, you have a choice: you can waste energy being frustrated, or you can use that time to sharpen your habits, improve your preparation, and raise your standard. The bench isn’t a punishment—it’s feedback. It’s a chance to work on the details, to prove your consistency, and to show your coach you’ll be ready the moment your number is called.
Both Tyler and I have been in these situations. And as easy as it feels to complain and be frustrated, we understood how important it was to choose the growth perceptive. Here’s the truth: you have two choices.
You can complain about your coach and your circumstances… or you can take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself: Am I really doing everything I can to earn my spot? Am i wasting my time complaining to teammates, or using that time to do the extra work to prove myself?
If you’re not getting the playing time you want, here are questions to reflect on before pointing fingers.
1. Have I asked my coach for feedback? Am I coachable—or defensive?
A coach’s job is to help you improve. But if you never ask for feedback—or worse, shut down when it’s given—you’re leaving growth on the table. Being coachable isn’t about nodding your head, it’s about action. When corrected, do you make the adjustment right away? Do you ask follow-up questions to show you’re engaged? Or do you get defensive and think you know better? The players who grow the fastest are the ones who are curious, open, and humble enough to learn from every piece of advice.
Ways to ask your coach about playing time:
*its important to keep a growth mindset-team first-humble-wanting to improve-seeking feedback approach
I really want to keep growing. From your perspective, what’s the biggest thing holding me back from more minutes right now? I want to make sure I’m focusing on the right areas for the team.
I know minutes are earned. What can I do better in your eyes to put myself in the best position to help the team and trust that I can step in when needed?
I want to prepare myself to be ready when the team needs me. What should I focus on now to build your confidence in me for more minutes?
2. Am I showing up early and prepared? Do I train with the intensity I expect to bring in games?
Your habits before and during training set the standard for your playing time. Showing up early tells your coach you care. Being prepared—mentally, physically, and with the right gear—shows professionalism. But once training begins, intensity is the difference maker. Are you locked in during every drill, playing at game speed, and treating practice like competition? Or are you going through the motions and saving your best effort for game day? If you don’t train with game-level focus, don’t expect game-level trust.
3. How am I spending my time outside of team training?
The hours you spend with your team are only part of the picture. What separates players is how they use the other 20+ hours in their day. Are you watching film, getting extra touches, or building strength in the gym? Or are you wasting time on distractions that don’t move you forward? Recovery also matters—sleep, nutrition, and stretching can be the hidden edge that keeps you sharp while others burn out. The best players don’t just train hard at practice—they build a lifestyle that supports their performance.
4. If I get the opportunity tomorrow, will I be prepared?
Ask yourself this: if the coach called your number tomorrow, would you be 100% confident in your fitness, sharpness, and understanding of your role? Or would you need “a few more weeks” to get there?
Opportunities don’t wait. They don’t care if you’re tired, frustrated, or if your confidence has dipped. They come without warning. The prepared player doesn’t need extra time—they’re already locked in, ready to step up, ready to change the game. Opportunities don’t arrive with a warning. They show up when a teammate gets injured, when the coach makes a tactical change, or when the game calls for fresh energy. Ask yourself: if your number was called tomorrow, would you be fully ready? Not almost ready—not “give me a few more weeks”—but ready right now. That means your fitness is sharp, your understanding of the system is clear, and your mindset is confident. The players who seize their opportunity are the ones who stay ready every single day.
5. Am I taking responsibility—or making excuses?
When playing time doesn’t go your way, it’s tempting to blame the coach, the system, or bad luck. But excuses don’t earn minutes—ownership does. Are you focusing on what you can control: effort, attitude, preparation, and habits? Or are you pointing fingers and hoping things change on their own? Taking responsibility doesn’t mean beating yourself up—it means recognizing where you can improve and taking action. The players who own their development are the ones coaches can trust when it matters most.
Reflection is the starting point for growth. If you never pause to ask yourself hard questions, you’ll stay stuck in the same cycle of frustration. But when you’re honest about your habits, effort, and mindset, you create space for change. Being reflective isn’t about tearing yourself down—it’s about identifying the small shifts that can make a big difference. The first step to earning more playing time is taking ownership of your development, and that begins with looking inward before expecting results outward.
If you have any more personal situations you want to ask feedback about, our DMs are always open!! @gabarrasoccer
Talk to you guys soon
